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Ron Kays's avatar

Cool off.

Take a moment.

Pray alone—that your heart might be changed.

Wisdom.

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michael holt's avatar

Beautiful, thanks for sharing. The wisdom of this approach would apply far beyond the realm of marriage, but to all kinds of relationships! ❤️

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Kate Dreston's avatar

My husband and I are finding we use this approach in a lot of things. When we humble ourselves before Him and ask for His help, He meets us there. Thanks so much Michael for taking the time to read and also to comment!

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michael holt's avatar

Jordan Peterson and his wife Tammy separate into different rooms to cool off, and when they get back together (if I recall correctly) each begins with a word of kindness and admission of their own fault in the matter.

As a Christian myself, I think your prioritizing prayer together is the key ingredient.

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Kevin Joyce's avatar

This 👆

What a great concept!! 🤯

Thank you!

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Órla Kenny's avatar

I like the idea of this, Kate, but in reality, when 2 people are angry, they usually need some space first.. Do you give each other space to be angry before returning to hold hands and pray?

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Kate Dreston's avatar

We've had years of fighting angry, talking it through, hashing it out, giving each other space, we've tried everything. This is what works for us. It's the act of agreeing to pause and pray, it changes the whole dynamic of the conversation and process. There is something about 2 people crying out to God saying we need Your help here. It has to be 2 believers who are willing. It works for us, and I'm hoping maybe it can help someone else.

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Órla Kenny's avatar

Yes, Kate, I see where you are coming from now. You have tried everything else and this is what actually works. Maybe the other way, people think it works but there are resentments that remain. By calling on God to help you, you are surrendering to the Higher Good.. it is humbling and takes great maturity to be able to do what you do. Well done!

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Janet S Abadir's avatar

Yes,so powerful!! I think another thing that you can pray about is to bless one another out loud. That is also very powerful to remind yourself that you want the success and flourishing of your spouse.

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Kate Dreston's avatar

Excellent idea Janet, it goes along perfectly with the concept! Thanks so much for making the suggestion!

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Diane Durnell's avatar

When I am upset with my spouse or we are in an argument… I call upon the Fruit of the Spirt 🕊️of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control…repeating 🧎🏻‍♀️that to myself until I start reflecting those qualities. I have witnessed God’s miraculous work in our relationship with this strategy!!🌸

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Kate Dreston's avatar

Love it Diane - thanks so much for commenting so others can be encouraged by your experience too!

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