Do Not Enter the DANGER ZONE
Do you have yellow and black caution tape around your conversation?
We probably all have a friend who has said:
“I’m probably not supposed to say anything but…”
“Don’t tell anyone this, but…”
When you hear those words, you have just entered THE DANGER ZONE.
Those entering are usually nice people who may have innocent intentions but…
When your friend has admitted they shouldn’t be telling you the information, consider this your warning sign complete with yellow caution tape!
Proceeding forward makes you a willing party to the conversation.
Knowing something you aren’t supposed to know can cause hurt feelings and damage relationships regardless of the intent.
What does the Bible say? God calls us to a life of integrity.
“The integrity of the upright guides them, but the crookedness of the treacherous destroys them.” Proverbs 11:3 (ESV)
According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, the definition of integrity is “firm adherence to a code of especially moral or artistic values.”
We live in a fallen world, and we are not perfect. However, Jesus was and we need to strive to be like Him.
A person who reveals confidential information is not completely trustworthy. Don’t forget, they may not respect your privacy either and may share your secrets with others.
What are we to do?
Once you have entered the DANGER ZONE, choose not to go any further.
Interrupt your friend, and say, “Oh, that’s ok, you don’t have to tell me anything I’m not supposed to know.” Then, you can steer the conversation in a different direction.
Generally speaking, the family of God wants to carry one another’s burdens and have close fellowship.
The lines between gossip, love, and confidentiality can be blurry at times.
If you are the one asking for information, another suggestion would be to phrase your question clearly. For example, “Don’t tell me anything that isn’t public knowledge, but how is Mrs. Smith doing?”
To sum it up:
Your integrity matters.
If someone has asked you not to tell anyone, don’t.
We must value loyalty and discretion.
We can be truthful without giving more information than is prudent.
I’d love to hear what you have to say; please give your opinion in the comment section!
(For more Bible verses on this subject, see Proverbs 21:3, Luke 6:31, 1 Peter 3:16)
I have seen confidences betrayed and gossiping done by saying "...oh, we need to pray for so-and-so, they are having trouble, blah, blah, blah..." Watch out for that one. Just say "don't tell me details, God knows..." I have seen this done in group prayers, too!